Dungeons = Anxiety

So I haven't written about anything specific in WoW recently. I shall change that now. Today, I spent far too much time queued into Dungeon Finder in Zangarmarsh because  I am trying to get Exalted Rep so I can get the Cenarion War Hippogryph. So, today I started attacking those dungeons to work my Rep up through Honored, which is where I started with this attempt.

Anyway, my first dungeon today was interesting. I ended up leaving the Instance because that group sucked. And no, I wasn't just a jerk who left cuz they sucked. A shitty healer left me with a few deaths. I got sick of running back and dealing with res sickness and all that crap. Somebody else randomly got kicked or left, though I don't remember which, or why. Anyway, it got to a point where I was trying to run back and got killed by other monsters and shit, cuz monsters. Also, I was queued into that one for about an hour and a half.

The next queue was significantly shorter, but still too long. Closer to a half hour. Long story short, it ended with two people. We had to kick the tank because he kept giving us the response of 'brb' right after a kill, and then it got to a point where we were ready to progress in the dungeon and were on a ramp, and the tank just stopped. So the rest of us stopped. And we stood there for a good ten minutes or so. So another person took over, we kicked the tank because he stopped responding, and we pressed on! Then, out of nowhere, and for no reason, one of our DPS left. No warning, nothing happened to cause it, just gone. So then there were three - two DPS and a healer. We were doing great, until I got pegged as leader due to the automatic system stuff. And then I had a minor freak out moment. So I refused to lead. And by that, I mean I'd start walking, then the other two would follow, then I'd stop so I could follow them. It worked well. But I couldn't possibly be okay with leading a group. Maybe if it was people I knew, MAYBE, but probably not. I'm a better follower. Being a leader just puts way too much focus on me. Maybe in the future I could be better at it, but right now I'm not okay with it. Anyway, we got to a point where the healer died (right after me) and then he NEVER came back. So it was just us two DPS. I eventually got back, and we kept going. We got to one of the big boss guys and stood there for a second. Then he talked to me. And I got scared. See, I don't like to talk. I like to be invisible. But he was nice. We agreed we couldn't beat the guy without a healer, but thanks to me stepping up and suggesting it, we decided to give it a try anyway. We failed. Not miserably because big boss guy was at about half health which I think is pretty good for only two DPS. But we both died. So that was the end of that, or so I thought. We chatted for another moment or two afterwards and the guy was actually really nice. So, yeah, for me having really bad luck with shitty dungeons, that guy was nice. So to that guy (girl?) if by chance you read this, thank you.

So yeah, being front and center in WoW causes anxiety for me and it sucks, but yaknow, it's all part of living the life of me. I'm working on it though, and that's good. If anybody wants to run a dungeon with me, you know where to find me! Not really, but if you want to, there are ways to contact me. Like Twitter if you have it, or in the comments section if you don't. Or in game, cuz there's that too, if you have it. But you probably don't. I'm gonna shut up now.

Rem and His Awesome

Recently I asked on Twitter for people to give me suggestions for blog posts, so I could get back to blogging easily after a family emergency that uprooted everything for a week. A suggestion I got from Remghar was to write about him and his awesome. Rem is a badass dude. He's a crazy NERD in some pretty cool ways. And this is what makes him awesome:

-He's honest: it's great when people speak their minds. It's even better when they do it tactfully. Rem's got that covered. Wanna know what he's thinking? He'll tell ya. If you don't like it, well, he might apologize for offending you, but he doesn't apologize for the way he feels (at least not that I've ever seen).

-He's funny: seriously, he's freaking hilarious. Especially when he's drunk. And the more alcohol he's had, the more funny he is. But even when he's not drunk, he's funny. He's got a great sense of humor.

-He's creative: seriously, just look at what he's done. If you don't know what he's done, why are you reading this? But really, he comes up with awesome stuff and has so much cool stuff going on.

-He's nice: He really is. Sometimes he tries to be a jerk, but he really is nice. He even laughs at my stupid jokes sometimes.

-He's a mailman with a bear hat. I really don't think I need to explain why this is awesome.

-He'll try anything. Seriously, it's funny sometimes to watch/hear him try new foods and drinks. A lot of the time, it sounds like he's going to die, but it's funny and he knows it, so it's good. What he does for his fans is pretty awesome.

-He's a popcorn addict: popcorn is probably one of the best snacks ever. Sometimes, it even works as a great meal. Hey, I wonder if Rem likes chocolate drizzled popcorn? Either way, his addiction is pretty awesome. Most people are addicted to harmful things. The only way a popcorn addiction seems to be harmful is lots of kernels stuck in the teeth... and passing it on to his kids which he's already doing. Though, maybe that just means he's raising them right. We should create PAA (popcorn addicts anonymous).

-The circle.

-He likes Disney movies. I actually don't know this for sure. It's an assumption based on his obsession with Frozen (which I still haven't seen). But either way, it's a good thing.

Well, that's enough of that. I can't talk about Rem this much without trashing him, so here's what sucks about him:

-He's forgetful: holy shit he is so forgetful. He makes promises that he doesn't keep. Sometimes he uses alcohol as an excuse. But sometimes he makes promises when he's sober. Still doesn't keep 'em. Jerk.

-He said it would be a win/win if he died and I replaced him on Liquor Fueled. I don't know if this was a lapse in judgement or something else, but this is not a win/win! Jerk.

-He encourages people to do bad things: it's because of him that I'm going to be trying fruitcake soon. It's because of him that I drink more than I used to. It's because of him that I got myself wrapped up in a wing eating contest for ConnectiCon. Actually, I'm not sure if this applies to the bad section or the good section. So... awesome jerk.

-He blames others for things: quite specifically, I'm thinking of the fact that he often blames his daughter when he talks about how much he listens to certain types of music, and how he only listens when she's around. I don't buy that for a second. Using your kids to make you look better... jerk.

-He's a jerk.

So to sum up, Rem = awesome jerk

What I Like About WoW

Recently I asked on Twitter for people to give me suggestions for blog posts, so I could get back to blogging easily after a family emergency that uprooted everything for a week. One suggestion was to share the things I like about World of Warcraft. Since I've only been playing for a few months, there is still so much content I have yet to experience. But here's a list of the what's and why's for what I like about WoW:

• Leveling: I enjoy leveling because, for the most part, it is a simple task that still allows me to enjoy the game and try to learn more about it at the same time. At times it can be rather tedious, and sometimes it just plain pisses me off. I manage to get through the rough spots with the motivation that the more I push through, the sooner I'll have my main at max. 
• Dungeons: There's good and bad to dungeons. I enjoy them when people aren't jerks. Even when I'm not running them with people I know, it's still nice to be doing the same thing with other people. More often than not, I like to be able to follow other people, and running a dungeon as DPS allows me to do that. Doing dungeons with people I actually know is often nice because there's somebody familiar for me to talk to. Or, if I'm drinking and doing a dungeon with someone I know (it happened once) I have somebody who can laugh at me when I repeatedly die and get lost. 
• Pet Battles: I enjoy pet battles simply because it's something else I can do when I want to play but want a break from leveling and don't feel like doing dungeons. It took me a long time to convince myself that pet battles aren't a bad thing, and force myself to try it. Well, I enjoy it quite a bit. Not always, as I'm often not in the mood for it, but I think that would be different if I had pets at the same level as the areas I'm in when leveling. I'm still working on getting up to that point. Once I hit 70 on my main (hopefully today) I will be taking a break from leveling to work on leveling pets, and work on getting a flying mount, as well as leveling my Goblin DK.
• RfA: The people in the guild Reported for Awesome are just that - awesome. I love being a part of this guild because, even though I can't really do anything with them yet, they've always been friendly and helpful when needed. I don't think I really need to say much else. These people rock.
• The community: seriously, the World of Warcraft community is incredible. I have met so many awesome people as a result of playing this game. It is incredible what the people in this community will do for each other. I used to view gamers much in the way the stereotypes portrayed simply because I didn't understand differently. I can say it was a very naive viewpoint, and not one I'm glad to have had, but I'm glad I know the truth!
• The Auction House: I know this kind of sounds ridiculous, but I recently discovered the fun in selling things in the AH. Making a few hundred gold by selling loot I had no use for seemed like something worth at least trying, and for my first attempt, it was successful. I think at some point in time, I'm going to look into how to make more gold in WoW because I know there's several ways to do so. 
• Ground Mounts: There are times when I wish I had a flying mount, but I enjoy my ground mount. Since I know so little about WoW, having to explore all the areas on foot has helped me to learn the maps a little better and understand where I'm at. I'm sure once I start leveling more alts this isn't going to be a favored thing for me, but for now it's alright. Though I do wish I had a flying mount for the times when I just really don't want to be on the ground. 
• The community: Yeah, I know I said this already, but it deserves to be said again. The WoW community is AMAZING. I honestly don't know where I'd be without the love and support I've gotten from people that don't even know who I am. I just hope that in some way, I can provide the same support to people when they need it.

So, I know this is a short list, but I'm sure I'll add to it in the future as I get more involved in higher level content. If you wanna know my thoughts about anything else related to WoW, use the comments, or contact me on Twitter!

Convention Tips

As we near the middle of January, it is quite clear that conventions will soon be fast approaching. Whether they are comic conventions, or conventions of any other type, they're coming. If you're planning on attending a convention, there's a few things you should remember:

1. SHOWER. I cannot stress this enough. There are hundreds, sometimes thousands, of people crammed into a small space. You'll get hot, you'll get sweaty. Please, please make sure you're clean first. We don't need anybody smelling up the place. If you've been to conventions before, I'm sure you've experienced it... the one person who walks past you in a cloud of funk, making you simultaneously gag and hold your breath while your eyes water. Don't be that person.

2. USE DEODORANT. Do I really need to explain this one? If so, re-read number one. Showers are great, but you're gonna need that deodorant too. Unless you carry ice packs around with you to stuff up your shirt and down your pants, you're gonna get hot. You're gonna get sweaty. Use the deodorant. If you really wanna be prepared, carry some with you too. You never know what could happen.

3. GO EASY ON THE BODY SPRAY. I know we want to try to kill the funk, but please, whether it's cologne or perfume, don't use too much. We don't want clouds of funk, and we definitely don't want clouds of suffocating cologne.

4. PLAN AHEAD. For just about any convention, you can find schedules of events online. Most of the time, you can buy tickets online for the convention, and to meet people. It may be time consuming, but it's worth it to take the time to look at the schedule of events for the days you will be there and write out everything you want to do. Then, go back through and organize your 'must-do' list. You should have back-up plans too. Especially for conventions that have panels and screenings. Unless you get VIP tickets, or something of the likes, there is always a chance you won't get into the panels and screenings you want to see. A back-up plan will help you avoid that "oh shit, now what do I do?" feeling when you can't get access to an event.

5. MAKE A BUDGET. Listen, conventions are expensive. There's no way around that. If you want to go to a convention, you're going to spend money. This is where planning ahead really helps. Make a list of your expenses.
-Travel: If you have to travel for a convention, do your research. Sure, you have a car. But what about parking? What if a train is cheaper? Or a bus? Look into all of your options. Maybe the cheapest isn't the best option. But what you can do is find the happy point between cheap and ideal. It may not be perfect, but you could save some money.
-Lodging: If you're going to a convention near where you live, you're lucky. If not, start searching for hotels early. They're expensive. Booking online can sometimes get you a discounted rate. Always, ALWAYS, search for promo codes online. I have saved so much money on hotels because of this. If your convention is in a big city where prices are much higher, check in nearby towns for a cheaper hotel and a bus ride into the city. Again - I've saved money doing this. It's a bit of a hassle, but to me, it's worth it to save some money.
-Souvenirs: Most people go to conventions expecting to buy some sort of souvenir. Do yourself a favor... over budget for this one. By that, I mean give yourself more to spend than you expect to. There's all kinds of cool stuff to buy at conventions and I can guarantee that unless you don't have any money on you, you're probably going to spend some. But if you still want to save money, there's one thing that works in some places: bartering. If you're at a convention where artists are selling their stuff, normally on the last day of the convention you can do some bartering if you want something. Don't be rude about it, and don't be offended if they say no, but most of them are understanding if you try, and sometimes will be willing to work with you.
-Food: This one's easy to forget about. You don't think about food because food is everywhere you go. Well, at most conventions, it also costs a fortune. Unless it is explicitly stated that no outside foods and beverages are allowed, take water and take snacks. Protein bars and beef jerky are my two favorite convention snacks. It doesn't go bad, getting smashed isn't a big deal, and it helps keep you energized. It's easy to forget, but so worth remembering. It's probably easier to plan on buying as little food as possible at a convention, but leave room in your budget for at least one overpriced meal each day, because you're gonna get hungry.
-Cash: Since we're talking about money, this is a good place to put this. I have yet to go to a convention where the lines for the ATM's were not a mile long. A lot of people don't think about carrying cash because just about everyone takes credit cards now. Well, at conventions, more often than not cash is the way to go. Now, you may be thinking "what about those card scanners for mobile devices?" Yeah, these are great... until you get to the convention center and realize you get little to no reception, like everyone else in the building - including the vendors. Do yourself a favor, carry some cash on you. You'll be glad for it.

6. WEAR COMFY SHOES. Just about anyone who has been to a convention knows you need to wear comfortable shoes. You're going to be doing a lot of walking, and as much as places try to provide seating, there is NEVER enough. It just doesn't happen. So wear comfortable shoes. Walking and running shoes are always great. Now, if you're crazy like me and prefer to wear five inch heels for your cosplays, I suggest you still bring comfortable shoes. Also, cushioned insoles are great too. At some point in time, you're going to want to take your shoes off and give your feet a break. Food breaks and panels are great places to do this. Just don't do it if you have stinky feet because then everyone around you will be miserable too.

7. BRING A BAG. Girls may be thinking this is obvious, that's why most of us carry a purse. (Fun fact: I don't use a purse unless absolutely necessary. I mean, I have pockets for a reason!) But, your purse may not be big enough. Think about it: on top of all the crap that's always in there, add a big wad of cash, some water and food, and you're probably out of room. Then what happens when you buy souvenirs? All of a sudden, you've got an over filled purse, and more bags to carry. So why not go the easy unisex route? This solution works for guys and girls. Get a messenger bag or a small backpack. All of your stuff will be securely wrapped around you. You've got plenty of room to store stuff without being uncomfortable, or dealing with overflow.

8. FIRST AID KITS! This one is so easily over-looked that I'm sure most people don't have them when they go to conventions. But what are you going to do when you get a headache? What about if you get blisters from being on your feet all day? You don't want to spend your day suffering. So take some drugs, bandage up your oozing skin, and get back to the fun! Seriously though, even if you don't use it, it's nice to have the stuff just in case.

9. PHONES. Phones are great. They help you stay in touch with friends. Let you post to social media sites throughout the day. And let you deal with frustration when they die. I mean, that's at least what will happen if you have an iPhone. My Android has never died on me when I needed it. But some tips for making that phone battery last:
-WiFi: don't use it. Plain and simple. You're probably not going to get a great signal, and leaving it on will just suck up your battery even faster. If you do have to use it, wait til you need it to turn it on, do what you have to do, then turn the wifi off again.
-Screen Brightness: turn it down, all the way! Or as low as possible with still being able to see the screen. Seriously, you don't need it up all the way. It may be easier, but if you can get by with a dimmer screen, do it.
-Calls: keep 'em short! Don't make calls unless you have to, and when you do, say what needs to be said then hang up.
-Texting: if you're at a convention, don't be texting your mom about what's for dinner. Don't be texting your friends (who obviously aren't that cool if they're not there with you) about what you're doing next weekend. Keeping your texts relevant to the situation and enjoy your time at the convention. Seriously, why did you pay to go there if your face is going to be in your phone the entire time. Which brings me to my next point... DON'T TEXT WHILE WALKING. Seriously. You're just going to cause problems for everybody.
-Airplane Mode: if you're not waiting for contact from somebody, put your phone on airplane mode. This will help preserve the battery even more. Just take it off airplane mode when you need it. This is a better alternative to turning your phone on and off because that will actually use more battery than just keeping it on airplane mode which essentially turns your phone off. But it still gives you the option to whip it out and snap a quick pic if you need to.

10. DON'T GET SICK. This one really should be up near the top, but quite frankly, I don't feel like re-numbering everything. If you've been to a convention before, you've probably heard of 'con crud' or 'nerd flu'. These are big phrases because they're true. Conventions=germs. Germs=sickness. You get the picture. There's several things you can do to make sure you don't get sick.
-Sleep: you really need to get enough rest. Give your body everything it needs to fight that crap off. Get enough rest. You may think it sounds silly, but you'll be grateful for it. Try to have a semi-normal sleep schedule for the few days before and after the convention. Get enough rest every night before hand, and afterwards to let your body recover.
-Hand Sanitizer: You're touching stuff. You're touching people. You're shaking hands. Then you go to eat. Let me guess, you didn't wash your hands did you? They are completely gloved in germs. Take a little bottle of hand sanitizer and wash off some of those germs. You may think it's easier to just go to the bathroom. Yeah, maybe, but there's the lines. And having to touch more dirty stuff after you exit the bathroom while getting your food. With hand sanitizer, you can get your food, sit down, wash up, then eat right away. Less gunk for the gullet!
-Vitamins: This one's majorly looked over. But you should probably be taking vitamins several days before the convention, and for several days after. Give your immune system an extra boost to fight off the germs. Another thing you can do is use Airborne. Personally, I'm a fan of the Berry flavor tablets dissolved into Sprite. WARNING: if you break the tablet to make it fit into a small bottle of Sprite, you will be dealing with a sticky explosion. Drink some Sprite first, or mix it in a glass.
-Eat Right: This one is so easily overlooked. But you really ought to make sure you're putting the right stuff in your body. Again, several days before and after. Make sure you're getting the right nutrients. We all know that feeling of death inside our stomachs when we eat too much junk. Well, put that on top of a weakened immune system from all the germs and you're just asking for trouble. You can't keep the germs away completely, but you can be smart about what you do to keep your immune system strong.

11. TALK TO PEOPLE! Conventions are a great way to meet new people, or to finally meet those people you only know from the internet. Think about it. You're at a convention, surrounded by thousands of people. Odds are most of them have something in common with you. Even if you don't become best friends with that person, give it a shot! Hell, I went to an after party at a bar after a convention one time and met a Jedi Knight who bought everyone drinks, and I met an awesome Australian guy who was on vacation and in Philly specifically to attend the convention. I'm shy. I have terrible social anxiety. But I'm telling you, it's worth it!

12. MEET CELEBRITIES. A lot of the time, meeting celebrities is expensive. Sometimes you stand in line for over an hour just for them to cut it off two people in front of you. But I'm telling you it's worth the opportunity. I mean, I'm probably one of few people who can honestly say I verbally harassed Lemony Snicket. And it was a freakin' blast! Don't worry - he thought it was funny too. The cool celebrities will take time for you. I met William Shatner once, just to get his autograph for a family member. He was still really nice, and taking time for everybody. I met Jason David Frank once. He is absolutely awesome! He's a great celebrity and is just as much a fan of his fans as his fans are a fan of him. He's great. John Morton, from Star Wars, spent a good 25 minutes talking with me, because we have the same last name. And then he started calling me Cousin Jenn. Seriously though, meet celebrities. I wouldn't necessarily advise paying hundreds of dollars for an autograph, but if you can meet people without going broke over it, do it.

13. TAKE PICTURES. If you have a real camera, good for you. If you don't, your phone will suffice. But you're going to want to take pictures. You're going to want to talk about your experiences in the future. If you don't have pictures, it may be hard to remember some of the little stuff. And then of course, if you meet celebrities and start to brag about it, there will be the people who say "pics or it didn't happen." So, ya know, keep those pics handy!

14. LINES. You're going to stand in lines all freaking day. Lines to get in. Lines for food. Lines for the bathroom. Lines for the ATM. Lines to make purchases on your souvenirs. Lines for panels. Lines for celebrities. The only way to avoid the lines... don't go. I mean, lots of conventions offer rather pricy VIP passes which help you bypass a decent portion of the lines, but you're not going to avoid 100% of them. If you're not a patient person and you don't like standing in lines... well, you're kinda screwed. For the lines, pack your patience, talk to people around you, and wait it out. You'll get to where you're going. If the lines piss you off, then what you're waiting for might not be as awesome as you think. Sometimes it's worth the wait. If it's not, then it's also not worth the money you're spending on it. When it comes to celebrities, the bigger celebrities have bigger lines. That's just the way it is. Obviously, the names that anybody will know are going to have the biggest lines. They generally tend to go down from there, aside from the ones that not everybody knows but that have big fan bases. So, you can probably guess the length of the line you're going to be in well before going to the convention. Big name/fan base= big line. Smaller name=smaller line. Also, there's the good chance you'll spend an hour standing in line to meet somebody, and they'll cut the line so you never can. It sucks. There's other times where you'll stand in a non-moving line for an hour to meet Jason David Frank, consider leaving the line cuz nothing's happening, then see him walking the length of the line apologizing for being late and promising to get to everybody. Some celebrities are cool like that. Others (or their handlers) not so much. Shit happens. It probably won't go perfectly the way you imagine. Get over it, and just have fun! Don't let a few mishaps in your perfect plan be reason for all of your money to go to waste.

15. KNOW YOUR LOCATION. This one is super, super important. You need to know where everything is relative to, well, everything else. Take the time to look at the maps. If you've never been in a building before that is housing a convention, you're liable to get lost. Hell, you might get lost even if you've been there before. But this is more of a general safety thing than just to not get lost. Anything could happen at a convention, and while I don't wish for bad things to happen, it's possible. Know where exits are. Know where security staff are. If shit goes down, you don't wanna get trampled by thousands of frantic people. Also, knowing where everything is helps when you have to meet up with people. Finding a common place, where everyone knows where it is will do a great deal of good to be able to meet up with people without going nuts trying to find them. This also applies to things like, oh I don't know, the bathroom! I mean, you're gonna have to pee. If you're standing in line for a celeb and you gotta go, well, you've got two choices: either leave the line, or wait it out. So you wait it out, meet your celeb, and now you're risking creating a hazardous situation for everyone because you've got a veritable volcano ready to exit your pants. Know where the toilets are before that happens. You'll save everyone the hassle, and you'll probably avoid some embarrassment too.

I'm sure I'm probably missing something, but I think this is a pretty good start! Keep all this stuff in mind when planning for your next convention. No matter what you do, enjoy your conventions. If you have anything you want to add, there's a comments section for that very reason!

Here's my convention schedule for 2014:
Jan 30- Feb 2: Philadelphia Tattoo Convention
June 19-22: Wizard World Philly
July 10-13: ConnectiCon
July 31-Aug 3: Star Trek Convention - Vegas (tentative)
Oct 9-12: New York Comic Con
 *The dates listed are for the convention as a whole, and do not depict the dates I will actually be there.

Finding the Mental Health Professional for You

It seems that more often than not, Tauren Think Tank inspires me to write. In a recent episode, one writer was wondering how to make the step to start looking for a mental health professional. There are a number of ways to do this, and I know a lot of people don't listen to TTT but could still find this information helpful, so I'm going to lay out some of those tips here.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness Website has a page that describes the different types of mental health professionals, and it also provides resources to aid in the process of finding a mental health professional that is right for you.

Mental Health America's website has a page where you can enter a zip code and it will give you the nearest locations of Mental Health America Associates which you can speak to. They can give you guidance and help you to find a mental health professional.

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration is a branch of the US Department of Health and Human Services. Their website provides a treatment locator for both substance abuse treatment, and mental health treatment, in separate searches, so you can find what you're looking for. Furthermore, they also have a 24/7 National Helpline that you can call. Those numbers are 1-800-662-HELP (4357)   and   1-800-487-4889 (TDD)

A lot of times, one of the reasons people give for not seeking out the help they need is that they can't afford it. This is a reasonable concern, however there are ways to work with this. The US Department of Health and Human Services has health centers that provide services to individuals with no insurance, where you pay simply just what you can afford, based on your income. They provide a vast array of services, including: checkups, treatment when you're sick, dental care and prescription drugs for your family, and mental health and substance abuse care. If this is something more suited to what you need, check out their Find a Health Center page on the website. This is a fantastic resource for those with financial struggles.


There are numerous other resources out there to help you. If you are looking for treatment for something specific, and can't find what you're looking for through any of these four sources, a simple google search will likely provide you the information you are looking for.

No matter how you go about finding a mental health professional for whatever you need, there are a few things to consider. No matter how much time and effort you put into finding a mental health professional, there is no guarantee that the person you find will work for you. But don't be discouraged! Everybody is different and each of us has different needs. When speaking with a mental health professional, if you feel as though you aren't getting what you need, tell them. If they can't help you, they should be able to recommend someone else who can. Don't give up just because it doesn't go the right way the first time. I've been in counseling four different times in my 21 years, and the only time I've found a counselor that works is the one I see now. It can be discouraging, and it can be difficult, but if you keep working toward finding the right person for you, you should be able to get the help you need.

Furthermore, no matter what you are going through, try to find somebody else you can talk to aside from your counselor, psychologist, etc. Having other people to talk to, especially those who know you well, will help to give you support between appointments with your mental health professional.

Finally, it is important to keep in mind that no matter what you are going through, the process will not go perfectly. Be prepared for things to go up and down. It could go really well for a span of time, then all of a sudden, you'll be back where you were at the start. I can not stress this enough: do not give up. It will not be a perfect process, but that is how you best learn to deal with whatever you are going through. If it all goes perfectly, you won't be able to fully grasp how to change the way you deal with things. By not giving up, and by staying positive, and by making sure you are getting the type of help you need, in time you can hope to find improvement.

Thor: The Dark World - Review

There's probably hundreds of reviews of Thor: The Dark World out there on the internet. Well, mine's different. If you haven't seen the movie, I've two things to say to you: 1) Why the hell haven't you seen it yet? and 2) Don't worry, this post won't spoil it for you.
If you have seen the movie, good for you. You're doing something right.

Now, because there are probably hundreds of other reviews out there, I have little that I need to say about this movie. So here's how I can sum it up, and give my opinions at the same time:
-Thor 2 is probably the most epic game of Portal that I've ever seen
-Loki is such a badass
-Chris Hemsworth = <3


Well, that about sums it up! Now go watch this movie! I don't care if you've seen it already or not. If you haven't, stop reading and go see it! If you have, well, go see it again!

Finally, here's two pictures of the day (Wizard World Philly 2012) I was within 30 feet of that adorable Australian God of Thunder:

Fighting Boredom with Passion

People who know me well may think I sound like a bit of a hypocrite with this post, but over time I have finally started to learn something that I feel is important to share with others. There is no reason to ever be truly bored. Especially if you are reading this post, because that means you have access to internet, and electricity, and it is safe to assume you have more in your life than so many others do. But beyond that, if you have things in your life to be passionate about, you should never have a reason to be bored. I used to spend a lot of time bored out of my mind, clueless as to what to do. At this same time, someone in my life suggested I take up hobbies I used to have, and find things to do that I enjoy. I kept making excuses that I didn't have time, because I had to focus on school. To me, I feel like that's a noble thought to have, but if I had time to be bored, I clearly wasn't too busy with school. So, I've finally started to learn what that person was talking about.

All of my life, I've played video games to some extent. But I never really considered myself a gamer until just recently, and that's still kind of pushing it. But that's just a label. The point is, I've always enjoyed video games, and now I play them far more often. I play games on my Xbox and my computer, and play some sort of game on average at least five times a week. Furthermore, I have found myself deeply involved in a big project, for the past couple of months. Here's the fun part where I prove myself very, very wrong. See, for some time I used my focus on school work as an excuse for not having hobbies again. Well, with playing video games often, working on this project of mine for the past few months, keeping mostly up to date with this blog, and working up to 20 hours a week, while going to school full time, I still managed to get a 3.41 GPA this past semester. So there's a big fat "screw you" to my excuses. And I have to say, I very much enjoy being able to wake up on a day off (or a sick day like today) and have something to do, rather than sitting there twiddling my thumbs. I've never really twiddled my thumbs but you get my point.

So, my point to this random rambling... if you're bored, perhaps you don't have enough in your life that you enjoy. It would probably be best to have a few things in your life you enjoy so that if you need/want a break from one thing, you still have something else to do. I love gaming. I find it to be a great stress reliever and it has helped me to meet some very awesome people. I love this project I'm working on that I can't talk about. It's kept me very busy working on one part of it in a computer program most have never heard of, another part of it in photoshop, and yet another part of it in my sketchbook. When I want a break from WoW, I have Steam games and Xbox games if I feel like gaming. If I need a break from gaming, I have my project. If I need a break from all of that, I have my blog, I have friends, I have a future to plan for, etc. See, it's rare I find myself truly mind-numbingly bored anymore like I did before, simply because I have things in my life that I enjoy. So, yeah, get to it!

Agents of Shield 2/6

As a review of Agents of SHIELD, this is post two of what is planned to be a six part series. If you missed the first post, you can check that out here: http://wownewbie01.blogspot.com/2013/10/agents-of-shield-16.html

Episode Five: (10.22.13): Girl in the Flower Dress. Remember back in the pilot episode where we learned about Centipede? Well, we learn more in this episode because they're back! This episode opens with a street performer named Chan in Hong Kong who ends his show by throwing a fireball at the crowd. Then, the girl in the flower dress (Raina) convinces him she can help him, gains his trust, and then he is kidnapped by Centipede. The problem is, this man was supposed to be under the watchful eye of SHIELD, so the question then is how did Centipede find out about him? Well, I think by now the answer is obvious... Rising Tide. So then of course everybody blames Skye, and she leads them to a member of Rising Tide that she thinks could have done it, all the while claiming innocence. Hey plot twist! Not only does she know this guy, but she KNOWS him (yeah, he's her boyfriend... or was. Not really sure if it's 'is' or 'was'). Well, of course SHIELD figures this out, and both Skye and Miles (her man friend) are taken back in handcuffs, questioned, and it turns out Miles is a jerk who gave up information for money. Back to Hong Kong, Chan is in Centipede's lab and they are injecting him with Extremis to make his powers stronger which successfully turns him into the living embodiment of the name they gave him - Scorch. Well, as can be expected, SHIELD raids the facility, some people die, most people live, and they have to make Scorch blow up (see pilot episode for causes to the explosions) before he kills them all. Once SHIELD saves the day, Miles is let go, but not before he gets a pretty tracking bracelet so SHIELD knows where he is and what he's doing online, all the time. Skye gets an identical bracelet, and ultimately reveals to Coulson her motivation for working with Rising Tide and SHIELD all this time. She is looking for her parents who had some connection to SHIELD, and Coulson promises to help her. In the closing scene, Raina is in prison and meets up with a guy who she ultimately asks to contact the Clairvoyant for her.

Episode Six: (11.5.13): F.Z.Z.T. This was an emotional episode, to say the least. At the beginning (but after the opener), Coulson is taking a physical, and Ward is testing out a new weapon that Fitz and Simmons made, and says it is an ounce too heavy. After he leaves, they (and Skye) start making fun of him. There are a number of people who are mysteriously dying, but nobody knows why, so SHIELD is called in to investigate. It is thought at first that someone is killing these people, all of whom have deaths involving electrostatic anomalies and levitation. It turns out that the cause is actually an alien virus that was gotten from a Chitauri helmet (salvaged from the battle in New York, in the Avengers movie) which essentially turns infected individuals into electrostatic bombs. They find the helmet in a fire station, and take it for further inspection/safe keeping. It turns out that Simmons is infected by the virus. And let the feels begin. SHIELD says to sacrifice Simmons for the rest of the team and Coulson essentially says "screw you" and ignores the order. Fitz and Simmons work together to find a cure, and Simmons, thinking there is no cure (and not knowing the last attempt at a cure actually worked), knocks Fitz out with a fire extinguisher and jumps out of the plane. At this point in the episode, I may or may not have cried a little bit. And by that I mean I did. Cuz holy shit she was gonna die, and she sacrificed herself for the team! So noble. Anyway, Fitz gets up, grabs a parachute, and was going to jump after her, but Ward ran it, grabbed the chute, and jumped. In the end, all lives are saved, Coulson yells at Simmons, Ward mimics Skye, Fitz and Simmons' mocking of him, and Coulson confides in May about the physical. Turns out nobody else ordered it and he was doing it because he didn't feel the same since he died. She then refers to a personal life event (that we still don't quite know) and tells Coulson that he can't expect to feel the same after dying.

Episode Seven: (11.12.13): The Hub. In this episode, we meet SHIELD director Victoria Hand at the SHIELD Hub Base, and she gives the team (specifically Ward and Fitz) a mission.  Their mission is to go out to South Ossetia and take down a weaponized device called the Overkill. One can only guess where THAT name came from. Before they leave, Simmons gives Fitz a sandwich. Specifically, a prosciutto and buffalo mozzarella sandwich with just a hint of pesto aioli. Or, if you prefer, the most romantic sandwich ever, between two people who got some serious flirt on in this episode. While at the Hub, we discover another feature of the pretty tracking bracelet Coulson gave to Skye two episodes previous. It's magnetic and keeps her from crossing doorways into areas for which she doesn't have clearance. Because of this, she is basically forced to hang out with Simmons, and the two of them try to get more information on why Ward and Fitz are being sent on a mission together. Of course this doesn't go as planned, and it ends up in another SHIELD agent being tranquilized by Simmons, but ya know, that's just another day in the life of SHIELD. Unfortunately, this leads to them finding out that there is no extraction plan for this mission. Without an extraction plan, the agents are basically just left for dead. So while Skye is trying to convince Coulson of this (and find out if he knew or not) Ward and Fitz are running from some bad dudes with dogs. Being the typical goofy guy he is, Fitz gets hungry and pulls out his sandwich of love. Or, if you prefer, his prosciutto and buffalo mozzarella sandwich with just a hint of pesto aioli (Consumer Warning: drooling is normal. Do not be alarmed). Well, Ward's a bit more clever than Fitz. If you are being chased by dogs, you don't pull out the worlds best sandwich. They can smell that shit. (And I think I can too). But Fitz is an absolute sweetie, and even offers Ward some. Ward takes the entire sandwich and throws it in the water nearby, bringing about the best line of the episode, by Fitz: "You've destroyed the world's most dangerous sandwich. Congratulations!" While all this is going on, back at the Hub, Skye is trying to get information on her parents and comes across a file with pictures of a dead woman. Coulson directs May to investigate further. Coulson in the mean time is trying to figure out why he doesn't have clearance to his Tahiti file even though he is level 8. Well, as can be expected, through all of this, Coulson and the rest of the team fly in and save the day. Literally, they fly the plane in and save Ward and Fitz. This episode leaves a lot of questions unanswered, but there is a lot to come in the future that will hopefully answer things for us.

Episode Eight: (11.19.13): The Well. If you haven't seen Thor: The Dark World yet, and you haven't seen this episode, and you absolutely hate even the smallest hint of a spoiler (like me) stop reading. If that doesn't apply to you, please, continue. The reason I say that is because this episode follows after the Thor movie. I waited two weeks to watch this episode so I could see Thor first, and I'm glad I did. (That, paired to the craziness of college finals is the reason for this post being so delayed). At the beginning of this episode, some small clips from the Thor movie are shown, and quite frankly that in itself would have upset me if I hadn't seen Thor first (cuz I hate spoilers). Anyway, this episode was insane, and a bit emotional. The task for the team in this episode is to try to find the pieces of an Asgardian Berserker Staff that a group of individuals (specifically a Paganist hate group) are searching for/finding. See, this isn't just any old Asgardian relic. It's called a Berserker Staff for a reason. It pulls out the darkest parts of an individual from the deepest part of their soul, and turns them into a raging beast overcome with anger. When Ward gets hold of a piece of the Staff, he is forced to remember a traumatic childhood memory of his brother, and a well. As can be expected, he is more angry and also has increased strength. Basically, he just turns into a moody jerk. As the team tries to find the pieces, and the group responsible, they cross paths with a professor who has hints about the location of the staff. Well, here's a fun twist, he's no normal professor. He's a freaking Asgardian living on Earth undiscovered until now. While searching for the last piece of the staff, the team battles the hate group, and ultimately the team wins and gets the staff back into safe hands, but not before May takes hold of it and does some serious damage. Coulson convinces The Asgardian professor to relocate to Portland, with the promise that he could meet Thor the next time he's in town. At the end of the episode, Coulson has a nightmare about his time in Tahiti, making us wonder all the more about what happened to him.

There have already been two more episodes aired, but in keeping with the pattern of doing four episodes per post, those will have to wait until the end of January when the next two episodes have been aired and I have the time to sit down and write about them. Until then, best wishes fellow SHIELD lovers!

A Note on Kindness

This post may not be about gaming, or anything else even remotely nerdy, but the idea of kindness can be shared and understood among all cultures. Though some details may be missing, this is the story of a homeless man named Tylil and my connection to him.

I first met Tylil about five months ago. He was sitting outside the Rite-Aid near my college campus. He said hi to me, and asked me how I was doing. He and I started talking, and I was surprised because he wanted to talk to me, and wasn't just asking for money. He shared his life story with me, including his arrest history, his medical conditions, and family situations. He didn't hide the things he did wrong. He told me about his daughter, his living conditions, where he went to church and about the positive interactions with specific Temple University police officers.  He also rapped for me, a song that he wrote, and then broke it down and explained it to me, and explained the story that inspired the song. I sat and talked with him for about half an hour, then after I picked up what I needed, I gave him some money and a bottle of water. After that, every time I saw him, I gave him something. Always a bottle of water, and when I could, I helped him with groceries and occasionally bought a little treat for his daughter. He was always appreciative and thankful, never harassing, and never asked for more when I gave him something. He even shared with me when he had job prospects, and promised me one time the next time I saw him he would be doing better. Well, the next time I saw him, he was wearing cleaner clothes, smelled better, and was so proud of himself for keeping his promise. He wanted to show me that what I was doing for him was going to a good cause. There were times when others saw me helping him and complimented me for it. I can only hope they were inspired to help someone too.

Because of all of my interactions with him, I knew I had to do something for him and his daughter for Christmas. Because of financial difficulties, I couldn't do what I wanted to do. Since before Thanksgiving, every time I walked past the Rite-Aid I hoped I would see him so that I could do something for him and his daughter. As time continued to go by and I hadn't seen him, I started to doubt that I would. Finally, today, exactly one week until Christmas, I saw him on my way to the store (which happens to be across the street from the Rite-Aid). I didn't make it known to him that I saw him, and went to the store to pick up the one thing I needed - milk. But while I was there, I spent an extra $15, the last of the money in my bank account, to get him and his daughter something for Christmas. I got a little container of chocolate covered pretzles for both of them. For his daughter, I got a little princess craft set and a little activity pad and crayons, both of which I packaged in a little gift bag with Santa on it. I went over to where he was sitting, and while waiting to cross the street, and until I got to him, I could see/hear him wishing every person who walked into the store "Happy Holidays". This in itself made me happy because he wasn't asking anybody for money. Just wishing that people enjoy the holidays. I walked up to him, and when he recognized me he said "hey, how are you?" and shook my hand. I greeted him in the same way (the same greeting we had every time we saw each other) and then gave him the grocery bag with the gifts, as well as $5. He was so incredibly appreciative and told me he would have been more than happy without the money, and that he was so glad he had something to give his daughter for Christmas because he was worried about that. I explained to him that I had been hoping to do something for him and looking for him for about a month, and told him it wasn't what I wanted to do, but I had to do something. At that point in time, he got up from where he was sitting and hugged me. He told me it didn't matter if I did nothing at all, and that the thought alone meant so much to him. He told me there was another Temple student who had done similar, which I fully believe because if you take just five minutes to talk to this man, you can't not help him. There is just something about him that is more real that I have ever seen.

The best part is this: He looked in the bag, and saw the containers of pretzels and his face lit up. He told me that chocolate pretzels are one of his daughters favorite things to eat, and she was going to be extremely happy with them and the fact that they were star shaped. He then told me every time he takes something home for him and his daughter and she asks where it came from, he says "The Angel". Today, and many days for the past couple of months, I have helped this man and his daughter, though I have never met her. Today, I took some stress off of him because at the very least he can give her something for Christmas. Today, this man who looks so small and frail from a distance, but who has such a kind heart and is always beaming with pride about his daughter made my day. When ever he takes her something I gave to them, he simply tells her that it came from the Angel, and that he tells her to tell the angel she says thank you. And he told me today that I am their Angel.

I never expected to gain anything from helping this man and his young daughter, but today he gave me one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. Without knowing it, he gave me hope. With all that I have been fighting with in my personal life recently, him looking up at me and saying "you are our angel" just made me feel so much better. Knowing I'm making a difference in his life, and in the life of a little girl I have never met, and probably never will meet, makes me feel like there is hope in this world. This man, who has a very difficult life, and who does everything for this little girl, gave me the best Christmas present ever. A hug from a stranger, and kind words when needed the most makes a much greater impact than I ever expected. He wished me a Merry Christmas many times, and as I turned away, I heard him continue to wish others walking by a Happy Holiday.

To you, reader, I hope that you can do some kind act whenever the opportunity presents itself. You may find someday, that you will be repaid in the most unexpected way possible. Everybody needs a helping hand at one point or another. And no matter what holiday you celebrate this time of year, or even if none at all, I wish you find hope and happiness somewhere in life.

Balance is Key

Stereotypes piss me off. I just need to put that out there, and now I think I'll go on a short rant before getting to my real point. For those who don't know, I'm 21 years old, female, a senior in college studying Forensic Psychology, and I work 12-20 hours a week with no pay. I live by myself, but have two guinea pigs as pets. I'm an artist. I'm a gamer. I'm a nerd. Yeah, I play computer games. Yeah, I play Xbox games. Yeah, I go to comic conventions AND enjoy cosplay, a lot. I have fears, anxieties, weaknesses, but I am working to fix them and learning to live with the stuff I can't fix. To sum up, I'm me. I am not the stereotype of a gamer or nerd. I am a unique individual with a past that I hate, and a future that I hope for. Gaming is part of my life. It is something I have come to enjoy (though my bank account doesn't like it as much as I do). But here's the thing, it's only one part of my life. If you know me, you know that my two biggest priorities in life are my family and my education. My hobbies come after that, and that's the way it will always be.

Now more to the point of this post. One one of the major stereotypes of gamers is that they spend all of their lives and all of their time gaming. Personally I hate that stereotype, but I have been the exact opposite. I only really got into gaming this past summer, and at first, I felt like I was doing an injustice by not playing every day. I felt like I was wasting my $15 a month on WoW if I wasn't playing at least a little bit every day. And then, when I got a Hearthstone beta key, I felt like I was doing something wrong by not playing, because the point of the beta was to be testing the game. Over time though, I have come to realize that it's okay if I don't play games every day. The point of it all isn't to feel an obligation to play, but to do so when I want to. It's okay to let life get in the way. It's okay to take a break for a few days to focus on other hobbies. It's okay to buy a game because it's on sale, and not be able to play it for a week or two (thank you Steam sales and Black Friday sales). At first that was something that I struggled with, but now I am finding myself to be more okay with finding that balance. I don't think I have it completely yet, but I'm getting there. I think, with all things in life, balance is key. At this point in time, I am writing before starting my last day of classes for my last Fall Semester as an undergrad (I graduate in the spring). My finals started yesterday and they won't be over until next Friday. The last time I played any video games (aside from two minutes with my dad's new PS3 this past weekend) was Thanksgiving night. My focus has turned to getting all of my papers done and studying for my finals. On top of that, I also have things I need to work on for personal projects. In this process of finding the balance, I am finding that I am enjoying gaming even more because it is on my terms, when I want to, not when I feel like I have to.

Whether you feel like it's too much, or not enough, with any hobby balance is key. Figure out your priorities and make sure those come first. Then fit the rest in where it seems to fit naturally. Even if through circumstance that balance needs to be adjusted, it will all work out.

Balance is key. It's not always easy, but you don't need easy. You just need possible.